I have a theory ……….
I am a planner, a flexible planner, but a planner and goals setter none-the-less.
I have a theory about why so many don’t stick to their goals they set for the year that goes beyond the fact that as humans we have a hard time with consistency, sticking with things when it gets tough and we lack accountability. Those things have been talked about for a long time and we know it’s a real factor derailing humans for centuries.
I think that we (and especially me) can get to the end of January and feel like I’m already failing and then sometimes ditch our goals or just let our mindset about our progress slow or halt our plans. But why??? I think it’s because we don’t take into account the season we’re in, like the literal season, winter.
Winter brings literal darkness with less sunlight, shorter days, and depending on where you live it also brings cold, wet, weather. Our bodies need different things in winter. We need more rest, slower rhythms, more focus on nourishing our bodies and immunity and less noise. Just because it’s the beginning of a new calendar year doesn’t mean that we will have all the energy that we want to tackle all those goals we are setting. I am all about reflexion at the end of the year and setting goals for the year ahead. What if we did it more realistically and gradually though as we implement them. What if we set baby goals along the way that take into account the season we’re in so that we actually reached those big goals at the end of the year?
There’s also another season that we need to keep in mind as we journey through our year, grief. Not every season is one of energy and joy.
January’s have been hard for me for about 18 years now. On a cold winter day at the end of January I lost our first baby. When you walk through infertility and trying for so long to get pregnant, when it finally happens it is incredible. Unfortunately it turned tragic when I had to have an emergency surgery because the baby was growing in, and beginning to tear through, my fallopian tube. That was heartbreaking and the grief sits in my body, heart and mind still. On another cold January day a year later, my daughter was born after a long hospital stay, in a state we didn’t live in and she was 5 1/2 weeks early. She was a gift we prayed for but she too arrived in a rather traumatic way. Your body keeps the score. So for me January comes with its own challenges every year.
Grief requires grace. It doesn’t care that the calendar year just turned over and new years resolutions or goals abound.
Winter and grief are a season that have to be considered as you are setting goals. It doesn’t mean you give up on them or don’t have them, it just means you take them into consideration. Give yourself grace where it’s needed, take a nap when your body says to rest and you do the next right thing each day.
I think that if we did those things we would be so much closer to growing and thriving in healthy and sustainable ways.
What do you think about this theory? Have you seen this ring true in your own life?
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