I heard that on a podcast last week and haven’t stopped thinking about it. (I wish I could remember who said it, I think it may have been Esau McCaulley, but I listen to too many podcasts to recall.)
And then today I read the quote by Meredith Miller “Compliance is not a fruit of the Spirit.” Which just reaffirmed the quote I heard last week.
Growing up and working in the evangelical space for a long time I learned that compliance is what “Good Christians” do. You follow what the leader and God says and don’t really question it. We were taught to teach our kids to have first time obedience. I can’t tell you how many times I said, “Delayed obedience is disobedience.” And I get it, there are times to keep our kids safe when they need to obey immediately, like running into traffic. But for the most part to teach our kids to never question a leader or to be curious as to the WHY behind what we do, is doing them a huge disservice. It’s also indoctrination, setting them up for potential abuse at worst and terrible boundaries at best. It’s also not what a healthy faith journey with Jesus is really like.
Jesus asks so many questions in scripture. He is constantly modeling for us to be critical thinkers yet somehow some segments of the church has communicated (even if subtlety) that you check your brain and the stirring of the Spirit at the door and just fall in line. (An important thing to mention is that the Spirit IS at work in you, not just your pastor if you follow Jesus. Being spirit filled and led wasn’t just for a select few.)
Just because we fall in line to a certain set of rules doesn’t make us faithful and it doesn’t mean it’s Spirit led.
Compliance and conformity are not the mark of a fruitful or faithful life.
So as I’ve contemplated this quote and the idea of compliance in the past week here’s what I want to be true for me and for my kids:
- I want to think critically about what I’m taught and take it back to see if it lines up with what Jesus modeled.
- I want to wrestle honestly with hard things and still stay committed to Jesus, not a church, not a set of rules, not a denomination and not a political party.
- I want to be faithful to the person of Jesus because of his love for me, not just compliant because of fear or man made rules.
At the end of the day it can be so much easier to just fall in line. It can be risky to rock the boat. It can seem easier to not do the thing you know you should do or that Jesus is asking you to do because others may not understand. But compliance for compliance sake doesn’t provide the life of peace, joy, goodness or thriving I long for.
Friends, if you’ve lived a life of compliance thinking it was faithfulness, there is real freedom in realizing the difference. But it’s not always easy to break out of the compliance mold. For a real people pleaser it can be so uncomfortable and even end relationships. But I guess I’ve come to the place in my life where I’d rather be uncomfortable than be compliant for the sake of fitting in. I want the true freedom and faithfulness that comes with following Jesus. He calls us with love and an invitation to draw near and do good work in this world even when it’s messy, we get it wrong and don’t have all the answers.
I don’t want to get to the end of my life and have people say, “She was so compliant.” I hope people say I was kind, resilient, loved and served my community well, was a great mom and friend, was an advocate and ally for justice, was sassy and fierce, was intentional and faithful. Compliance is not on the list.